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THE SIMPLEST GUIDE TO PUNCTUATION AND
GRAMMAR
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FROM MY LIFE INSTRUCTION
BOOK THAT WILL BE PUBLISHED SOON
I wish my life had come with an instruction
book so I wouldn’t have to figure everything
out the hard way. Eventually, I did figure
out that I needed to change my thinking and
the stories I tell, I needed to change the
behavior habits I slip into from ones that
keep me stuck with what I don’t want to ones
that move me easily toward what I do want.
This is the book I wrote about what I
learned. It took a crisis to force me to
rethink everything I believed, and I hope
you can learn from my experience instead of
waiting for a crisis of your own.
First, I explain four practices that have
become the one set of rules I use to guide
me in every situation: Let go of attachments
to outcomes and turn them into goals
instead; Notice the stories I tell myself
and, if they keep me stuck in old thinking
and behaviors, change them to ones that
don’t; Choose behavior habits that help me
be who I want to be; and, Let my ego help,
but don’t let it be in charge. These
practices help me let go of all unpleasant
emotions like anger, fear, frustration, and
regret – and when I’m really making
conscious choices, I can avoid having those
feelings at all. These practices make
relationships better, and they help me trust
myself when the experts and I don’t agree.
They help me be happier, healthier and more
successful. Here’s more good news: These
practices work consistently, for everyone,
in every situation.
Next in the book, I write about fifty
experiences we all have in life and how to
use the four practices to navigate them
easily and successfully.
Here are some excerpts:
* Letting go of attachments to the way
things turn out is a behavior that has
changed experiences in every area of my
life. But it only works when I remember to
do it. When I talk to people about letting
go of attachments to outcomes, I see that
some are confused. Isn’t it good to be
attached, they ask? Isn’t it good to have
goals?
Goals, yes. Attachments, no.
Here’s how they’re different: When we’re
attached to an outcome, we tell ourselves,
This person, this situation, has to be
the way I want it to, or I can’t be happy,
We plot and we plan, we request, coerce, and
demand that people and situations change to
fit our vision. In other situations, when
we’re attached to an outcome, we tell
ourselves we have to change, and we try to
make ourselves be and do what they want us
to so we’ll get their approval. We work
harder, we work longer hours,
While we’re attached to an outcome, our
bodies are uncomfortable and tense, and we
feel emotions like doubt, regret, confusion,
and fear; our minds are full of chatter
about how
unfair/unreasonable/unkind/unsupportive
people, and life in general, are.
When we think of what we want as a goal, we
still work to get it, but we’re calmer, more
focused. With a goal, we believe, I want
this, something like it, or something even
better! We don’t experience unpleasant
emotions when we don’t get what we want, we
just look for other ways to achieve what we
want, or maybe we decide we want something
else. When we hold what we want as a goal,
we feel relaxed, confident, optimistic, and
hopeful. Often, because of our relaxed
nature, people will offer suggestions that
can be just what we need to move forward.
* I never used to question the stream of
thoughts that chased each other through my
head because it just seemed natural; it was
always there. I let my mind say whatever it
wanted to because I didn’t realize that its
stories weren’t necessarily true or that I
had a choice.
My ego tells a lot of my stories, and it
doesn’t like to be quieted. But when I
remind it that I’m in charge, it has no
choice but to do what I say.
Surprisingly, all I have to do is remember
to tell my ego to hush. I imagine it looking
startled, angry, perhaps even hurt. But I
don’t care. It’s my mind, and I’m boss.
* I could make a list of everything I think
causes me stress: my job, my neighbors, my
deadlines, my bank account, and so on. But
my wise self knows it’s none of those
things. What cause me stress are my stories
about how people and things should be and my
attachments to people and things being
different than they are.
The solution is easy. Let go.
It’s a challenge sometimes.
But I can.
Back To Top
THE JOB SURVIVAL
INSTRUCTION BOOK: 400+ TIPS, TRICKS, AND
TECHNIQUES TO STAY
EMPLOYED, Third Edition
I thought my employers wanted me to care
passionately about my work, to do everything
I could to make it perfect. Turns out, I was
wrong. They wanted me to do good work, but
they didn’t want me to be so passionate that
I stepped on political toes. They didn’t
want me to care so passionately that I
couldn’t see the big picture.
When I understood how to please my bosses
and enjoy my work too, I wrote this book.
Here are samples from 400+ Tips, Tricks, and
Techniques to Stay Employed:
* Think before you ask questions; ask
questions before you guess.
* Work is not a democracy, so your vote on
how to do things may not matter very much.
Let that be okay, or find another job.
* You can hide from office politics, but you
can’t escape them. Learning how they work at
your job can make the difference between
sweet success and sudden death.
* You don’t have to like everyone you have
lunch with. Lunches with people who can
share important information are as important
as lunches with people you enjoy.
* The three most important parts of your job
performance are attitude, attitude, and
attitude.
* A new boss means new rules. It’s like
switching from baseball to football. Meet
the challenge of playing the new game
instead of struggling to play a new game
with the old rules.
* Take inventory often: Is what you’re doing
getting you where you want to go at work? Is
your job getting you where you want to go in
life?
Reader Comments:
Karin
Ireland has once again done a great job
at producing an easy to read and
thoughtful book to keep yourself in
check, whether employed or not. I think
it is great as a gift for friends who
just got a job, lost a job or have had a
job for a while. It is also a thoughtful
gift for a boss to give their employee.
I keep my copy on my desk and take a few
minutes to read through it almost every
day. Sort of little me time. One of my
favorite quotes is: "If you want to know
what you believe, look at what you've
created in your life." This is a great
thought to contemplate. There are so
many more in this book. I highly
recommend it.
– L.H.
This little book is pure gold. The 400
tips could be devoured in an afternoon,
but they are meant to be read slowly,
digested, highlighted, even meditated
upon. If you want to thrive in your
workplace, treat yourself to this book
and spend some time with it. Render it
dog-eared and scribbled in. Sleep with
it under your pillow. It will help.
– T.S.
This funny well written fast read is a
great buy for yourself and as a gift.
Karin is quick and to the point. You
don't have to read 120 pages to get the
concepts you need to be a winner in a
world wide job market. The job market is
a new type of ball game. Karin shows you
how to play the game, and it is a game
and you need to know the rules.
– F.A.
The Job
Survival Instruction Book: 400+ Tips,
Tricks, and Techniques to Stay Employed,
Third Edition, is available
online and at bookstores.
Back To Top
LEARNING TO TRUST MYSELF: LESSONS FROM
CANCER AND OTHER LIFE DILEMMAS
Three days after the lumpectomy for breast
cancer, my surgeon said she hadn’t gotten
clean margins, and I’d need to have a
mastectomy, chemo, and radiation to “maybe”
survive.
My body sent me clear signals that this
wasn’t the right path to my wellness. This
book shows what I decided to do and how I
learned to be strong enough to follow my own
guidance instead of caving to what the
experts insisted I must.
This book isn’t just about cancer; it can be
used as a guide to for learning to trust
yourself in any situation.
Here are excerpts from this book:
* Dr. Martin [my surgeon] explained and drew
pictures and from time to time I stopped
sobbing to ask a question. Most of what she
said I forgot two minutes later. But some
parts stuck “…cancer…6+
centimeters…unfortunately, not the good
kind, invasive lobular carcinoma in situ,
aggressive…no guarantees, but best chance
for survival are mastectomy, chemotherapy,
radiation, Tamoxifen….”
* It was 4 a.m. when I woke up again, and I
was alone with a speaker blaring in my head:
I have cancer. Like my mother. She did
everything the doctors wanted her to do and
she died.
* I’m in Dr. Cho’s chilly examining room,
feeling captive in a mini-gown in a
mini-room. He used the same words Dr. Martin
had, “…no guarantee…your best chance for
survival….” I can just feel the energy, the
life, being sucked out of me whenever I hear
that.
He acknowledged that yes, the chemotherapy
is dangerous, yes, I will lose my hair, and
no, there are no guarantees that a) I need
it or b) I will survive.
* Note: This journal entry comes after many
weeks of investigation and soul searching:
Now I get it. I’ll survive, or not, but
that’s not what this is about. What’s
important is my spirit lesson to follow the
path I think I need to be on and not give in
to what other people think I should do.
Reader Comments:
"A
fascinating read! Ireland weaves two
personal stories together. One story
chronicles her diagnosis of cancer and
her search for alternative treatments.
The other tells of her journey to find
inner peace and wholeness. Both offer
hope and vision.”
– C.B.
“I could not put it down. Not only is
[Ireland's] journey fascinating, it is
just a well-written book."
– A.I.
"...very uplifting, and it made me feel
very powerful over my own insecurities.
She is quick to admit she was struggling
and didn't have all the answers and her
courage made me want to
question....everything, not just medical
science, but all the areas of my life."
– D.H.
“Her personal experience helps pave the
way for all cancer patients to know that
options are available…”
– J.D.
Back To Top
Winner, Women in Communications Award of
Excellence
Learning
to Trust Myself: Lessons From Cancer and
Other Life Dilemmas, newly revised, is
available on
Kindle for $3.99.
Back To Top
TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR CAREER! 365 TIPS,
TRICKS, AND TECHNIQUES TO ACHIEVE HAPPINESS
AT WORK AND IN LIFE
It took me a long time to realize that I
could take charge of most of the experiences
I had at work instead of letting them
frustrate me, and when I did, I was happier
and more successful at work and in my
personal life.
Here are a few excerpts from this book that
will be published late 2011:
* Don’t wait for your boss to ask for your
side of a conflict. Make an appointment, and
calmly, relaying facts, tell her.
* Some of the people you work with may be
crazy – or at least emotionally immature.
Don’t believe you can fix them. Instead,
learn how to work with them or around them.
* Ask yourself frequently: Is what I think
about helping me get where I want to go, or
is it keeping me stuck where I don’t want to
be?
* Don’t slip into victim mode at work or at
home. When something isn’t going the way you
want it to step back and figure out why.
Then figure out what you need to do to get
the results you want.
* You’ll be happier if you remember the
difference between a problem and an
inconvenience.
This book will be published by Course
Technology PTR, a division of Cengage, late
2011. It will be available online and at
bookstores.
Back To Top
Other
Books by Karin Ireland (many are out of
print, but used copies are available online)
Don’t Take Your Snake for a Stroll
(a children’s picture book in rhyme –
fiction) 2003, Harcourt, available by
order at bookstores
Wonderful Nature, Wonderful You
(a children's picture book – nonfiction)
1966, Dawn Publications
150 Ways to Help you Child Succeed,
1998, Berkley Publishing
Boost Your Child's Self-Esteem,
2000, Berkley Publishing
How to Have All The Answers When The
Questions Keep Changing: Hundreds of
Tips, Tricks and Techniques for Thriving
in a Changing Workplace, 1966,
Career Press
The Best Christmas Ever: How to
Recapture the True Spirit of The
Holidays, 1995, Career Press
Boyfriends Live Longer Than Husbands
Because... (humor) 1990, Great
Quotations
It's Not a Lie If… (humor) 1987,
Price/Stern/Sloan
How to Cheat On Your Budget
(humor), 1986, Price/Stern/Sloan
Albert Einstein (a 5th-8th grade
biography) 1987, Silver Burdett Press
Helicopters at Work (4th-6th
grade nonfiction about careers in
helicopters) 1983, Julian Messner (Simon
& Schuster)
Hollywood Stuntpeople, 1980,
Julian Messner (Simon & Schuster)
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